Why Does Love Hurt?

Love is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes people are hurt emotionally and sometimes physically over the very feeling of love. So why does love drive so many people to get hurt if the feeling of love is generally a positive experience?

To begin to answer this question, we need to understand why people will first walk away from love in the first place. To do so, we need to separate what someone wants and the feeling of love, as they are two separate things.

Appreciating someone is an act of love that causes the feeling of love. Also, choosing your partner in life has a lot to do with what you want in life. If you like confident people, then chances are you will find a partner who is confident. If you like tall people, chances are your partner will be tall. But note that what you want in a partner is different then the act of love towards someone.

Since it is different, you may begin to find that sometimes a human being realizes that they want something different (not better). The reason for this change in want comes from the fact that we are living beings that change so that we can find out what we want. How are you to know that you don’t like rude people unless you met a rude person? Without being with other people to see what you want, you will never really understand what it is that you want. This means that even though someone may love you, they can still walk away because they haven’t figured out what they want in a person.

What this means is that a change in a person’s want is not a reflection of you as a person, so even though someone loves you, they could be leaving because they have changed. If you understand that you couldn’t know what you wanted unless you tried different things, then you cannot blame someone else for leaving you to try something else.

Now that we know why people leave relationships even though they love each other, what causes pain in love? To answer this question, we must find out why we feel bad. To do so we must understand why we have negative emotions and apply that knowledge to why love hurts. What we have found out about negative emotions is that we feel bad because we are being objectified, objectifying others or objectifying yourself.

When we apply this knowledge to love, we see that love feels bad because we are trying to control the thoughts of others so that they can love us again. Since your body reacts to objectification of yourself or others by making you feel bad, then when we make people love us, then it will also make you feel bad. Therefore, love feels bad because we are objectifying the person we love by trying to make them love us back.

Love in its true form doesn’t hurt because love is just appreciating the person for who they are. If you begin to control the person you love, then you have stopped appreciating them and you have began to objectify them. So the answer to why love hurts is because people choose to judge and control people to make them love them.