How Can I Get More Love In My Life?

So if the feeling of love and the act of love is just receiving and giving appreciation, then how do you maximize love or maximize the amount of appreciation in your life?

Strategies to Receive Love

Well let us look at that question in more detail by first examining how we can receive love. There are three ways to receive love. You can refuse to accept love (RAL people); Expect love to come into your life (EL people); and graciously accept love (GAL people). Based on how each of these type of strategies interact with each other will we see that how you receive love impacts how much love comes into your life.

If you are an RAL person and people give you love, then eventually people will accept that you do not want love in your life and thus people will stop appreciating you. If you are an EL person, then the type of love you receive is conditional because any expectation is a form of control (I expect you to give me something because I gave you something). Since people do not like to be controlled, people will dislike giving their appreciation to you, which contradicts the reason for being appreciated. It is only when you are a GAL person, who accepts love without expectation, will you see real love in your life because it is unconditional acceptance of love. Additionally, being a GAL person, you are in fact giving your appreciation back to that person for showing love to you, which makes the person giving love feel loved. Since they are being appreciated for appreciating, then if they want to get more love in their life all they have to do is to continue to give to a GAL person. To summarize these receiving love strategies, if you don’t accept love, none will come to you; if you expect love, it won’t come to you and if you graciously accept love, it will continue to come to you. However, how do you get more love in your life if you can’t expect love from others? To answer this question, lets look at how we can give love to people.

Strategies to Give Love

Just like receiving love, there are three strategies in giving love. One is never to give love (NGL person); show love when someone else shows you love (GLSL person); and Give love first (GLF). Now lets assume the distribution of the people that are in your life are split equally. So 33% of the people you know are people who NGL,GLSL and GLF. Given these strategies, if you are someone that is a NGL person, then this means that the only people who will give you love are GLF people because those who don’t give love won’t and since you don’t give love, then those who expect it first won’t give it to you. Therefore in this scenario, being a person who never gives love, you will only receive 33% of the possible love in you life since 33% of the people you know give love first.

If you are a GLSL person, then the only people who will give you love are the people who give love first because other GLSL are waiting for someone to give them love first and NGL people just won’t give love. Therefore, if you are a GLSL person, you will also only receive 33% of the possible love in your life since 33% of the people you know are GLF people.

Lastly, if you are a GLF person, then you will receive love from people who give love first AND people who give love after they receive love. Thus, being a GLF person means that you will receive 66% of the possible love in your life, as you will get it from GLF people and GLSL people.

Therefore, one way to increase the amount of love in your life is to give to people and show your appreciation of them first because more people will be receptive toward that strategy and they will give you more love back.

Distribution of People Who Love in Your Life

Another factor in determining how to get more love in your life is the distribution of people who give love first, people who give love after they get it and people who never give love. In our previous example we assumed that there was an even distribution of 33% across all the people you knew. However, lets assume that the distribution changes to 40% of the people you know give love first, 40% who give love after they get love and 20% never give love. If you are someone who never gives love or gives love after they get love, then they will receive 40% love, which is up from the 33% from before. If you give love first then you will receive 80% love, which is up from 66%. Therefore the distribution of people who give love in your life helps with the amount of love you get in your life.

Therefore, to maximize the love in your life, you not only want to be someone who gives love first, but you want to surround yourself with others that will either give love back or give love first and avoid people who do not give love. Given this strategy, it makes sense to give love as much as possible because people will want to be with you even more. If you are someone who never gives love, then understand that it makes sense for others to avoid you because they want to maximize the amount of love in their life.